In Honor of Poem in Your Pocket Day

Enjoy one of my favorite poems for Poem in Your Pocket Day

I Meant To Do My Work Today

by Richard LeGallienne

I meant to do my work today,
But a brown bird sang in the apple tree,
And a butterfly flitted across the field,
And all the leaves were calling me.
And the wind went sighing over the land,
Tossing the grasses to and fro,
And a rainbow held out its shining hand,
So what could I do but laugh and go?

Chamber Pot Fantasy - Hatching a Witchling

Today's book has women of interspecies heritage who carve a role for themselves within a earth based police system with their paranormal powers.


From the book jacket
We’re the D’Artigo sisters: Half-human, half-Faerie, we’re savvy – and sexy – operatives for the Otherworld Intelligence Agency.  But our mixed-blood heritage short-circuits our talents at all the wrong times.; My sister Delilah shapeshifts into a tabby cat whenever she’d stressed. Menolly’s a vampire who still trying to get the hang of being undead. And me? I’m Camille – a wicked-good witch. Except my magic’s as unpredictable as the weather, which my enemies are about to find out the hard way…
At the Wayfarer Inn, a portal to Otherworld and the local hangout for humans and beasties alike, a fellow operative, Jocko, has been murdered. Every clue points to Shadow Wing, the soul-munching, bad-ass leader of the Subterranean Realms. He's made it clear that he aims to raze humankind to the ground, turning both Earth and Otherworld into his private playground.
Our assignment: keep Shadow Wing and his minions from creeping into Earth via the Wayfarer. The demons figure they're in like Flynn.; After all, with only my bumbling sisters and me standing in the way, how can they miss? But we've got a secret for them: Faulty wiring or not, nobody kicks ass like the D'Artigo girls…


Consider this, a covert operative with a less than perfect family life must save the world and prove her value to her family and her self at the same time.

I know that many an urban fantasy author create female characters with awful homelives. In fact, I found an author's blog dedicated to this phenomenon. In this book we have it and more. I got the feeling that the sisters have guilt for fitting in so well in the human world in spite of their halfling heritage. Because of this guilt they romanticize Otherworld and speak of their longing to return. In reality, Otherworld is corrupt and run by opiate abusers. Their father would rather they remain Earthside.
I am interested to see how this conflict will develop throughout the series.


I didn't mind that she and her sisters have less than perfect powers. Camille our witch narrator, can never be sure that a spell she performs will work as planned.  Even though they have been given huge responsibilities on Earthside they don't seem to be well connected within the Otherworld system and its Queen. Or know much about the third realm, the Subterreanean Realm of  "not very good creatures." I assume that the subsequent books explain why these three have been chosen.



 The book is listed as a paranormal romance. I detest misleading descriptions. So, I will spare you the irritation, if you think that shopping for sexy underwear while you are in the middle of a mystery that could prevent the deaths of many is sexy then this is your kind of romance. That was about it for romance in this story.
I should mention the book starts very slow. I had trouble getting to the second half but once the dragon appeared I was sucked into the story. No. I will not elaborate on that. Overall, I thought there were too many characters introduced throughout the book. Every few pages another fairy creature or demon had to be introduced and his/her heritage described. 

I did take note of the dragon.

A friend asked me if I read fantasy. I explained that I do but I detest chamber pot fantasy.
Expectantly, his hairy eyebrows showed confusion. He may have stuttered when he asked, "chamberpots?"
Right, chamberpots.
I am talking about Technology. I don't read fantasy if there is no technology. I think Camille said it best after she rolled out of bed one night.

Thirsty, I slipped out of bed and padded into the bathroom, where I poured myself a glass of water. Technology and its wonders. Gotta love it, I thought.

Technology.
I am not reading a story without some kind of technology. And I don't mean where magic is the technology. And dammit, a story where living with running water on demand is preferential to living in a land made entirely of magic. Call me a technophiliac. I don't care.

Now that I have read the fantasy story, I give it a B-.

The Books of the South: Tales of the Black Company

This is actually the fourth book in the Tales of the Black Company. The first three I read awhile back as a compilation. I was surprised that I enjoyed the story/stories as much as I did since they are a war saga. The series is described by Steven Erikson as being "like Vietnam War fiction on peyote" and I think that is definitely a better description than one I could come up with.

In the previous three books we were introduced to the Black Company. This is a band of professional mercenaries who have been traveling for well over 400 years (they are not immortal, except maybe the two wizards, One Eye and Goblin). They are also, incidentally, the last of their kind, all of the other companies had dissolved or gone back to the South. They were brought up to the North, further than the company had ever gone, to serve the Lady and her Taken. The Lady is/was a sorcerer of immense power who, with her fallen husband, the Dominator, had conquered a vast empire. These two powers were such that they could, and did, 'take' the strongest wizards and bend them into their service. All were conquered at one point and laid to rest in the barrowlands but (oops) they were all accidentally awakened, except the Dominator who was purposely left buried, and immediately got up to their old tricks. Enter the legend of the White Rose. This is a woman who was destined to defeat them, again, and this is a large part of the reason that the Black Company was brought into service. To make a long story short, the White Rose popped up and was warring with the Lady but then the Dominator started to work his way out. They teamed up to take him down and in the end the Taken were all killed and the Lady was stripped of her powers but, most importantly, the Dominator was put down again.
Now, as I get into the Books of the South you may see mention of people and events that were tied into the previous three books but that can't be helped. So onward soldiers!

We pick up with Croaker (former annalist and now Captain), Goblin, One Eye, Otto and Hagop. They are all that is left of the 'original' Black Company. I say original but the company is composed of men, men die and new men enlist. They had picked up another man, Murgen, as they defected from the empire and the Lady, now stripped of her vast powers, rides with them. They are a broken band and without the means to continue their mercenary work, Croaker has decided that it is time to take the Company 'home'. Home, or at least where the Black Company had originated from hundreds of years ago, was Khatovar, a city that lies to the furthest south of any known map. The journey to get to Khatovar will cover thousands of miles. From descriptions, imagine that you are starting off around the Northwestern area of Russia and walking or riding a horse to the very southern tip of Africa. Sounds very much like a quest to me.

Making their way south through the empire turns out to be relatively easy. Even though the Taken are gone and the Lady has no powers left to her, for the most part the administration of the empire is unchanged. Stealth and bluster are more than enough to get them through and as they go, here and there they pick up a man or two. They have a few skirmishes with bandits grown brazen in the slight loosening of the grip of the imperial forces but nothing terribly dangerous. It is when they finally get to the outer edge of the empire that they will face harsher challenges.

As they travel along, the long ignored attraction between Croaker and the Lady grows. Unfortunately, every time they are alone and have the ability to consummate their 'feelings' for each other something pops up. Whether it is Croaker's obliviousness and/or mishandling of the Lady's signals or a band of assassins, they just can't seem to find time to actually 'do it.'

Meanwhile there are powers far to the south who have become aware of their presence and their intention to reach Khatovar. These beings are sorcerers of some strength called Shadowmasters. They are a group of four, all with that catchy 'Shadow' in their names. It is through these new players in the game that most of their troubles come.

After passing through a patch of jungle, the Black Company comes to a river that will take them further south and on to the next part of their journey. In the town that lies on the bank of the river they discover that there is a band of warriors who are descendants of the Black Company from their initial trek northward. These warriors are a separate sect in their society, and it appears that they have been waiting to join up with their fore-bearers for centuries. About 20 or 30 of these warriors are selected to join up with the Black Company.

So the group has grown now from a handful to almost enough for a small military unit. Which is a good thing since the river passage is blockaded by a pirate and he cannot be budged. This is a notable 'road block' because it is revealed that one of the Taken, Shifter, has in fact survived and is shadowing the company. The Lady finally admits to knowing this and assures Croaker that for now, at least, his goals are mirroring the goals of the Black Company. Namely, to get past the pirate blockade. Croaker and his men arm up a barge and set all sorts of nasty tricks into place and head off down the river. When they meet up with the pirates, it turns out to be a very good thing that Shifter is along because the pirates are led by a powerful wizard. It isn't until the pirates are defeated and they hear a familiar howling on the wind that they realize who they've been fighting...The Howler, another of the Taken.

They press on and enter a large city (description of the city and the people sounds like India) where they are approached by the prince to serve him in his war against the Shadowmasters. Croaker has no interest in signing on to another commission, he just wants to return his annals to Khatovar but to get through the Shadowlands, he will have no choice but to fight and defeat the Shadowmasters. No safe passage for the Black Company, sorry...

Croaker and Lady build an army out of the citizens and, even though they are not well trained or seasoned, use this force to kick the crap out of the first Shadowmaster. They press on and manage to take the fortress of the second but in an ensuing battle they lose the bulk of their men and are pressed back into the fortress, now under siege. Worse than that though is that Croaker takes an arrow through his chest and after all is said and done, his body cannot be found. He is presumed dead by everyone, including the Lady who mourns him deeply (especially since they finally found time to make with the nookie).

Now the Lady has taken over the annals and while she still plans on leading the Black Company to Khatovar eventually, her real mission is to destroy all of the Shadowmasters and their army for some good old fashioned revenge. She is 'adopted' by a secret sect of religious assassins who assist her in rebuilding her army. This comes in quite handy for her as she has at least a few loyal people, in a patriarchal society this is a necessity.

As she mourns she focuses her energies on rebuilding the now scattered and factional army. She has a few interesting exploits along the way but while she makes plans to avenge Croaker's death, it turns out that Croaker is very much alive. Alive and hostage to Soulcatcher, another Taken, and also the Lady's sister-turned-attempted-assassin. Soulcatcher had been beheaded but that wasn't enough to kill her apparently. She just carried her head with her in a box.
Soulcatcher's role in this is merely a plot to hurt her sister as badly as she can. Croaker has become a pawn, one she is intent on seducing though he holds out against her.
Sheer luck allows Croaker to escape from Soulcatcher. One of the Shadowmasters has Howler 'kidnap' her while she is in the city, posing as her sister. The Lady finally learns that her beloved is alive and well and things seem set for a happy ending.

Meanwhile, the Lady is largely successful in rebuilding her army and though she is ill, she still cements her ties with her religious assassins by undergoing some rituals and such. She doesn't think to much of it, it is merely a means to an end for her. If she had known she was pregnant and not sick, she might have thought better of it. When she was too far along, she cloisters herself to give birth. Shortly after, a band of the assassins breaks into her rooms, kills her guards and steals the baby.

Then we pick up with Raven, former guardian of the White Rose.

What? Where did that come from? Two thirds of the book were all about the Lady and Croaker and now out of nowhere we are thrown all the way back to the beginning of the Black Company's journey, literally a few days after they left the barrowlands??
Yep.

I'm not going to cover this section of the book too well. Suffice to say that another Taken, Limper, is revived (which is kind of interesting since all that was left of him was his head) and the silver spike that the 'soul' of the Dominator was trapped in is stolen. Blah, blah, blah...the White Rose with the Tree God's minions/creatures take Limper down, Raven really gets killed (no more faking his death) and the spike and Limper's head are tossed into another plane of existence. I think we will see more of Toadkiller Dog later though.

This book of the Black Company managed to suck me in as thoroughly as the previous three. Generally speaking, war books, you know with bloody battles and all that, have never really appealed to me but the characters in these stories are really well rounded and you find yourself understanding them and relating to them on many levels. The fact that wizards and magic are such a strong part of the story is rendered completely normal and acceptable. The descriptions of locations and events is particularly well done, dare I say, vivid?
I admit I was completely thrown off by the abrupt switch from Croaker/Lady to Raven/White Rose and I'm not sure that the second storyline really belonged with the first, but regardless, both stories are amazingly told.

Overall I would recommend this series to just about anyone. It takes a little bit of work to get into the story as a whole, plan on a couple of chapters worth just to get your bearings, but once you get involved with the characters you will probably find yourself enjoying them and looking forward to the next installment. (Cough, cough, hint, Frizzy)

When someone does it better

I want to recommend some reading
This blog post about Susan Lucci is perfect for Okra and Glue readers.

Moonshine by Rob Thurman

I have a little sister. We are 2.5 years apart. I actively made her life miserable for 16 years of her life. She was spared my sisterly dislike when I went away to college. The joke was on me because I joined a sorority and had to learn to be sisterly. She definitely benefited from that experience. I must declare that I am a great sister now. 

I used to tell people that I had not been properly prepared for her birth. She had a rough life being born 4 days after a major holiday. I was born in the summer. So family members thinking themselves clever would give her gifts on MY BIRTHDAY. I resented her for that. I didn't care that she didn't get a buttload of gifts in December. 

My mom delighted in dressing us alike. I think it was just lazy on her part to find two separate outfits. I hated it. 

Fortunately, I am an adult now. I have my life she has hers. We get a long great!
When I picked up this tale about two brothers, I did not anticipate that it would make me nostalgic. Unlike my sister and I, the brothers, Nik and Cal Leandros have been close since birth. Where as, I placed pins in the floor at age 6 in the hopes that my sister would step on it resulting in a bloody sock on my own foot; Nik has protected his little brother from monsters since he was eight. My sister went unscathed by the way.

Nik and Cal share a gypsy mother. Unlike Nik, Cal knows who is father was. He killed him. Nik began as four years older than Cal but now they are two years apart. To understand that you will need to read the first book Nightlife.

In Nightlife, we learn that the monsters are the auphe or elves. Monsters that other monsters fear. At the top of the food chain for eons, they found themselves outbred by the descendants of cave dwellers. Cal as a halfling is both the auphe heir and the cause of their extinction. Nik is a one man killing machine who wears a coat of many arms. With each page, I never knew what would come out of Nik's coat, a bat'leth, a witchblade, or elven rope. The possibilities had no limits.  My sister was a cheerleader and played softball. I ran track, generally competing for last and second to last place at all the meets. But I was smart and she was popular. I won!

My sister and I would play practical jokes on one another. Mom was annoyed. Nik and Cal like to spar in their second floor apartment. Neighbors be damned!

In Moonshine, the brothers have started a private detective/body guarding business. With Cal's level of laziness completely outlined in the first book, I wondered how the author could convince me that this whole entrepreneurial venture would work. Rob Thurman, added a third and sometimes fourth partner in vampire Promise Nottinger and the pansexual puck, Robin Goodfellow. The foursome make a fierce team, despite the awkward love triangle between the human, puck and vampire. Cal's love life is simple. He avoids it. He avoids fantasizing about the psychic George, with her red curls, dark skin and scent of sunlight.

I'd smelled her coming. Honey and oatmeal soap, the orange and clove shampoo, and underneath it all was the scent of Georgina. Sunlight. Don't ask  me how someone can smell like sunlight. I don't know. It was corny and trite and simple truth. Luckily for me she also smelled of shockingly mundane toothpaste, minty and completely ordinary it let me keep at least one foot on solid ground -- at least that's what I stubbornly told myself.

That is, until she goes missing. From that point on the group focus all their efforts on returning George. Cal would have us believe it was to return her home to her family. After which he would extricate himself from her life completely to keep her safe.
I believed that like I believed my sister would pay on my Fashion Bug bill that she ran up buying school clothing... . Mom had to get involved with that one.

In this book we meet werewolves. I like the undervalued character of the albino wolf, Flay. I hope that you will as well. I especially liked imagining him wearing a tank top and flip flops with gnarled toes and a soft white pelt of fur covering his body.

Rob Thurman throws in a fantastic road trip. I loved it. 

Cal considers himself to be a monster because of his father's heritage. Nik wants to save Cal from his own dark thoughts. That is a true brother. Nik will always have Cal's back. Cal will always lean on it.

My sister has two daughters 15 years apart. I think I will call her and ask her how the potty training and college visits are going. That is how I am a good sister.

My score A for awesome!

Since I have your attention

I have not reviewed a book in some time due to my recent surgery. I hope to have something for you soon. Perhaps, another member of the team will post a review......

Moving on.
I want to share some of my thoughts with you.
Within the science fiction, paranormal and supernatural genres, I have developed my own special groupings. I like all of the sub-categories but these need extra special attention, I hope that you will agree.

Unapologetic Monster - Whiny people can suck the life out of any room. Whiny, self-loathing, depressed, or brooding monsters bore me. I have thrown books at walls in an expression of my irritation.  I would rather not do that anymore. I prefer the strong, will-bending, sexy vampire. Or the musk-scented, family-centered lycanthrope. Mmmm. The incantation sputtering wizard and the dead perceiving detectives have the best lives. And I can't forget the angels. I am not referring to the angry Fallen waiting for the gates of Heaven to open. I like reading about the winged watchers,  taloned warriors and feathery wealthy who live among and manipulate humanity.

Chamberpot Fantasy -  I like fantasy. I do. I do not like any fantasy story where a chamber pot is mentioned. You were thinking that this term referenced some dirty fetish, didn't you? You should pick up some children's literature. If the story has magical creatures, then the first order of business should be to create a spell to take care of the business. A fantasy book should not spoil my imagination by noting the lack of plumbing advances in the times of unicorns and wizards. To put it simply, I prefer urban fantasy. This horse and buggie stuff is for the 1980s.
I prefer stories about flying or flesh eating cars to those chronicling the quests of dragon riders or owls. Owls, really? Actually, I would read a good story with horses and wagons as long as the characters do not disembark to "go behind the bushes."

Fairy Cliterature - refers to the pan-sexual exploits of both human and non-human creatures that serve to make the reader just a little uncomfortable or horny.  Think cloaca/penis sex. Or better yet, do not imagine such a thing. Nothing good will come of such an imagination. Certainly not a popular book. On one hand, the prospect of reading about a wererat and a werehyena having relations while in their were form seems interesting. However, no one need ever go there. Moreover, the sexual habits that vampires and other fairy creatures accumulate during their long lives have endless possibilities. This of course leads to a scene in which a newly created vampire who fails to control her bloodlust while performing fellatio nearly bites her lover's little friend. If that is your type of literature, have fun with it. I will be skipping pages.

If authors and publishing companies used these additional categories, I could target my reading list. Do you have your own sub-categories for the Science Fiction genre?

Happy Hour of the Damned: Drinks and Fingered Foods

I have a fear of zombies. It is a real fear. While I do not believe in vampires, demons or were-creatures, I do believe that zombies are within the realm of modern day existence.

I have recurring nightmares of zombies. I avoid zombie movies. They directly lead to nightmares.

In contrast. Zombie books. I do not avoid. I read them. I read them looking for information that will help to me survive the upcoming zombie war. This book was not one of those informative tomes.

Lately, I have been reading non-apologetic creature books. I refer to books about supernatural creatures that do not subject themselves to vegan or non-human diets or abstain from other nefarious acts against humanity in order to survive. It was the whining that bothered me.

I mean... A sober Vamp is a dead vamp. A ghoul must to eat. The were-creature who does not dance under the moonlight is dangerously grumpy. The necromancer has skeletons in her closet. That is where they need to stay for all of our safety.A demon that doesn't collect souls will  be shot back to Hell.

After reading some Felix Gomez, undead private eye, I picked up this Amanda Feral book. Happy Hour of the Damned is the first in what I hope to be an undead series from Mark Henry.

Imagine spending your entire life striving to be in the popular group since high school. Imagine never finding satisfaction with wearing the richest clothes and shoes, having a great apartment, a luxurious car, a professional and rich boyfriend, getting into the best clubs, invited to exclusive parties, competing with the best in your industry, and striking absolute fear into your subordinates everyday.

I know crazy, right?

Despite all of her money, influence and resources Amanda had not find her clique. Her special group of BFFs to make her life complete and accept her completely without looking at her back while imagining the best location to hide their knives - blade in first.

Then one day Amanda falls flat on her face and her life changes forever.

I think she expresses it best here:

You know, I could just sit here and ramble on about the nightmare of being dead, eating helpless people, breaking and entering, not having circadian rhythms. I could tell you that I was horrified with the direction my life had taken. I'm on a downward spiral into a vision of Hell not glimpsed since a Nine Inch video. Blah, blah, blah. Who wants to hear it? It's not true, anyway. The truth is this: I wasn't enjoying life when I was alive. Now that I'm dead, its' gonna be another story.

She doesn't need this book. She is going to wing it. That is with her right hand zombie gal pal Wendy, the man-whore vamp Gil, and the soul sucking demon Liesl. If only I had friends like her. The four of them party around Seattle having the times of their "lives."

 That is until, someone starts kidnapping members of the supernatural community and all zombie hell starts breaking loose at local Starbucks shops. What will Seattle do?
No worries. Amanda Feral is on the case.
Queue disembodied deep voice....
Will the undead gang will save the vampires, were-creatures, reapers and demons from fates worse than death without Black Magic cocktails?

Black Magic = 1 1/2 oz vodka, 3/4 oz Kahlua, dash lemon juice. Served in a Collins glass with ice.



I give this book an A for being funny, witty,  fast paced and full of great cocktail recipes. Pick it up so that we can toast to more stories of Amanda's night life.