Gilded Latten Bones - Witicisms from TunFaire

I have to admit it. I have discovered Steam Punk fiction. Unfortunately the genre often contains chamber pots. I still prefer urban fantasy for its cars and indoor plumbing but these books do rock. Detectives and the mysteries that follow them, I seem to love where ever they are.


I have two steam punk series that I devour whenever new books hit my library. I adore the Parasol Protectorate by Gail Carriger.; I own a few of her books. I follow Garrett PI when Glen Cook records his cases.

Today I will write about Garrett. Garrett is a private investigator, former marine living in the fantasy world of TunFaire along with elves, trolls, dwarves, minor gods, and vampires.
From the book jacket

For Garrett, P.I., loyalty and love come a close second to survival...

Garrett's attempt at domestic bliss with the fiery Tinnie Tate is sidetracked when he waylays a pair of home intruders and learns they've been paid by an unknown source to kidnap Tinnie. But as Garrett rushes to find out who is trying to push his buttons, his best friend is attacked. Now, Garrett has to track down both malefactors.

Unless they're really one and the same-in which case Garrett might be next...

Our retired hero is keeping house with his number one squeeze Tinnie Tate. He is getting a little pudgy around the middle and people have started ignore him. Garrett finds being ignored quite uncomfortable.  Despite this, our Garrett has created a boring existence far from the excitement found on Macunado Street until someone tries to kidnap Tinnie and murder his best pal Morely. Garrett returns to his detective and body-guarding past to solve the mystery. During the intriguing yet meandering story, Garrett makes new friends, finds old enemies and catches both a cold and the heart of a fearsome sorceress. Nice job!

I like Garret and Glen Cook. His characters have plain speak. No flowers, no silly analogies. Garrett is just a man who likes his beer and chamber pot nearby. His partner, the Dead Man, is a genius spirit who doesn't have to deal with the awkwardness of personal relationships.
Garrett doesn't have to pound the pavement in this story. Most of the action seems to either gravitate toward him or is reported to him. It gives a new meaning to being cooped up. Good thing Garrett has the sorceress, the stable manager, the restaurateur, the tracker, the beer deliveries, and night time flying to keep him busy.

When reading Gilded Latten Bones the reader is privy to the witticisms of our first-person protagonist. I have gathered a few for you.

Garret On Paranoia

I say that when you stop believing in weird conspiracies that involve scores of people who never break faith, you're fully ripe for the weird to come get you.

Garrett on MILFs with hot daughters

When I knew her Kevans had been pretending to be a boy. If she took after her mom she could make that leather smolder. Taking a wild shot a making Strafa feel better because her kid was weirdly built was one of those special moments that make me uniquely me.

Garrett On the opposite sex

A desirable woman who catches a man in bed in the middle of the night won't need to work hard to have her way.

Garrett On being underestimated

Someday I'll make a huge score because nobody will take me at face value. I could loot the Royal Mint, then run around yelling about how it was me that done it.

Garrett on the public's fascination with celebrities

And there was another reason Jon Salvation felt free to unleash his inner dick. People put up with it because he might cast them in a play.

As you can see Garrett's character has many, many fine points. This book is good for the first time reader and fans of the series. I encourage you to read it since it is packed with interesting characters and plot points for future exploration.

My score B+

Chamber Pot Fantasy - Hatching a Witchling

Today's book has women of interspecies heritage who carve a role for themselves within a earth based police system with their paranormal powers.


From the book jacket
We’re the D’Artigo sisters: Half-human, half-Faerie, we’re savvy – and sexy – operatives for the Otherworld Intelligence Agency.  But our mixed-blood heritage short-circuits our talents at all the wrong times.; My sister Delilah shapeshifts into a tabby cat whenever she’d stressed. Menolly’s a vampire who still trying to get the hang of being undead. And me? I’m Camille – a wicked-good witch. Except my magic’s as unpredictable as the weather, which my enemies are about to find out the hard way…
At the Wayfarer Inn, a portal to Otherworld and the local hangout for humans and beasties alike, a fellow operative, Jocko, has been murdered. Every clue points to Shadow Wing, the soul-munching, bad-ass leader of the Subterranean Realms. He's made it clear that he aims to raze humankind to the ground, turning both Earth and Otherworld into his private playground.
Our assignment: keep Shadow Wing and his minions from creeping into Earth via the Wayfarer. The demons figure they're in like Flynn.; After all, with only my bumbling sisters and me standing in the way, how can they miss? But we've got a secret for them: Faulty wiring or not, nobody kicks ass like the D'Artigo girls…


Consider this, a covert operative with a less than perfect family life must save the world and prove her value to her family and her self at the same time.

I know that many an urban fantasy author create female characters with awful homelives. In fact, I found an author's blog dedicated to this phenomenon. In this book we have it and more. I got the feeling that the sisters have guilt for fitting in so well in the human world in spite of their halfling heritage. Because of this guilt they romanticize Otherworld and speak of their longing to return. In reality, Otherworld is corrupt and run by opiate abusers. Their father would rather they remain Earthside.
I am interested to see how this conflict will develop throughout the series.


I didn't mind that she and her sisters have less than perfect powers. Camille our witch narrator, can never be sure that a spell she performs will work as planned.  Even though they have been given huge responsibilities on Earthside they don't seem to be well connected within the Otherworld system and its Queen. Or know much about the third realm, the Subterreanean Realm of  "not very good creatures." I assume that the subsequent books explain why these three have been chosen.



 The book is listed as a paranormal romance. I detest misleading descriptions. So, I will spare you the irritation, if you think that shopping for sexy underwear while you are in the middle of a mystery that could prevent the deaths of many is sexy then this is your kind of romance. That was about it for romance in this story.
I should mention the book starts very slow. I had trouble getting to the second half but once the dragon appeared I was sucked into the story. No. I will not elaborate on that. Overall, I thought there were too many characters introduced throughout the book. Every few pages another fairy creature or demon had to be introduced and his/her heritage described. 

I did take note of the dragon.

A friend asked me if I read fantasy. I explained that I do but I detest chamber pot fantasy.
Expectantly, his hairy eyebrows showed confusion. He may have stuttered when he asked, "chamberpots?"
Right, chamberpots.
I am talking about Technology. I don't read fantasy if there is no technology. I think Camille said it best after she rolled out of bed one night.

Thirsty, I slipped out of bed and padded into the bathroom, where I poured myself a glass of water. Technology and its wonders. Gotta love it, I thought.

Technology.
I am not reading a story without some kind of technology. And I don't mean where magic is the technology. And dammit, a story where living with running water on demand is preferential to living in a land made entirely of magic. Call me a technophiliac. I don't care.

Now that I have read the fantasy story, I give it a B-.