Things were so much nicer before the demon hunters moved here

Demon Hunting in the Deep South by Lexi George
A sort of review

From the book jacket

Evie Douglass doesn’t know what’s worse—the demons secretly infesting her small Alabama hometown. . .or human belle-from-hell Meredith Starr Peterson, who’s made her life miserable since high school. But when the “Death Starr” is brutally murdered and Evie is the number-one suspect, she’s suddenly besieged by the evil-not-dead-enough and Meredith’s furious specter. The only way she can clear her name is to get out from under demon hunter Ansgar’s grim protection. He’s blond, breathtaking, and the most lethal of all his kin, but after years of teasing, Evie is wary of anyone who swears her plus-size self is beautiful. However, having Ansgar all over her is sparking outrageous powers Evie didn’t know she had. And she’ll face any ultimate evil to keep this sexy slayer in this dimension and in her bed for all eternity...

When I read a book, I often refer to the book jacket artwork to focus my imagery of the characters or the location. The book jacket artist must have given the book a light perusal and pulled out "alien sexy warrior clad in leather" and "pretty Southern red head." I have helpfully pointed out the errors for you.
In this book we get to know a character introduced in the short story The Bride Wore Demon Dust. Yes, this book is about Nicole, AKA Mullet Woman,  the former pole dancer and more recently former gas station attendant who cannot be separated from her Allihuahua, Frodo. She has decided to bring her unconventional attire and mullet hairstyle to Hannah the birthplace of weird stuff. Poor Nicole has been chased out of town by a Chihuahua killer. Unfortunately, said Chihuahua killer has arrived in Hannah to continue his rampage of canine murder.

It is really a shame no one can see the bitchy ghost. 

Meredith, AKA Deathstar, as a character was unredeemable. A former high school mean girl, then society harridan who tormented small business professionals, and currently a ghost suffering from PTDD. Post Traumatic Death Disorder is normally something only seen in newly raised vampire, but Ms. George does a fine job of applying here. As I read about Meredith, I understand that creating this character purged some pretty angry emotions for the author. I had one gal that bullied me in high school, another who attempted to bully me in college, and I worked for one for a few years. I can see me writing either into a book, having her murdered then doomed to watch her friends slink after her husband while being forced to attend group therapy for being too bitchy to revel in the peace that comes with the afterlife. 

Yeah, Ms. George, I am totally feeling you on this.

You are probably wondering when I will start writing about the plot and its love story. You can Google reviews of this book for that. I want to tell you about the quirky inhabitants of this book who had me laughing two nights in a row while reading it. Because, well, this is a silly book. For example, poor Evie can no long see her beloved fairies but everyone else can. I didn't get a clear explanation for this. And why does Evie do her best cursing in the closet? And just how stupid is Trey, the widow, who openly covets his wife's accused murderer even though, Ansgar, the demon killer, is clearly attached to her curvy hip at all times? Writing of Ansgar, what compels a demon hunter to buy a monster truck? What will our small time law enforcement do with a murder investigation and a serial dog killer on the loose with big dance coming up? 

Another minor character favorite of mine is Lenora. Lenora, AKA "an inter-dimensional emotion-stealing hoochie mama, is in love. She is really a former sex slave who fed on the emotions of demon hunters like Ansgar. What she said to her boyfriend's ex-wife, AKA the Birth Canal, upon meeting her should be mounted on a plaque or made into one of those E-cards.

Lenora's story line mingles with Evie and Ansgar's affair quite hilariously.

I am anxiously awaiting the next book in the series. I can not wait to learn what becomes of Meredith's counseling sessions? Will Lenora marry a demon hunter, too? Will Nicole eschew her man hating ways and fall for the dog whisperer? Will Evie ever curse in a well lit room? These are questions to which I want answers.
Rating :
If this book were a peach, I would eat it. B+

Magnolias and Demon spawn

Demon Hunting in Dixie by Lexi George
warrior, a demon, and the girl next door…

Addy Corwin is a florist with an attitude. A bad attitude, or so her mama says, ‘cause she’s not looking for a man. Mama’s wrong. Addy has looked. There’s just not much to choose from in Hannah, her small Alabama hometown. Until Brand Dalvahni shows up, a supernaturally sexy, breathtakingly well-built hunk of a warrior from—well, not from around here, that’s for sure. Mama thinks he might be European or maybe even a Yankee. Brand says he’s from another dimension.

Addy couldn’t care less where he’s from. He’s gorgeous. Serious muscles. Disturbing green eyes. Brand really gets her going. Too bad he’s a whack job. Says he’s come to rescue her from a demon. Puh-lease. But right after Brand shows up, strange things start to happen. Dogs talk and reanimated corpses stalk the quite streets of Hannah. Her mortal enemy Meredith, otherwise known as the Death Starr, breaks out in a severe and inexplicable case of butt boils. Addy might not know what’s going on, but she definitely wants a certain sexy demon hunter by her side when it all goes down…

Big warrior guy comes to town to fight some baddies. Small town girl puts herself in harms way in order to protect the handsome stranger. Big warrior guy remains to protect small town girl who is not injured. Other big warrior types come to town to collect missing warrior who is now smitten with small town girl. Small town girl insists that she can handle herself and conjures a kitten to become her new bodyguard.
You just will love this book.
Lexi George has a talent for spinning a fun story set in a small southern town with colorful characters. She takes great care in describing the local attractions, small businesses, and overbearing mothers.
Southern women have wonderful manners. I thank Lexi George for teaching me how to handle awkward situations with southern sensitivities:

What do you do when your dog suddenly begins talking to you? Keep listening, he probably has more to say than most of your friends.

How do you respond when a demon claims you for his own? Sarcasm

What is the proper form when an alien demon-hunter decides to become your personal body-guard? Introduce him to your southern match-making mamma as an European. 

What is the proper etiquette for handling an ambulatory corpse the day of his funeral? Send the flowers, personally.

How do you entertain thousand year old inter-dimensional warriors? Take them to the local barbecue joint. Order the whole hog.

What is the best way to mark sobriety after 20 years of drunkenness? Plan a wedding.


What is the difference between tacky and trashy?

Tacky is wearing white dress shoes to church before Easter, and trashy is going to church on Palm Sunday wearing white dress shoes and no underwear.

Ah... This is a great story. I read it in two days. It made me laugh, cringe, and want more. It combines my favorite genres, science fiction and humor with a dash of adult love.

A recipe for a very funny book


My score A-;
I am taking off for the kitten abuse. :p

Queen Victoria hunts demons wearing lacy undies

Recently, I read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and I liked it. 

I had avoided 19th century stories based in the United Kingdoms since taking British literature in High School. 

I just didn't think the themes and such applied to anything that I have experienced as a Black woman. The Regency and Victorian eras seemed very foreign to me.

All that changed when I read Soulless by Gail Carriger.   It is set in the Victorian era.  I finally saw the connection to the themes and customs of that era to those of this one amid a vampire/werewolf romance story.  As a former anthropology major (for a year), I could appreciate the social nuances of class, sex, ethnicity, etiquette, propriety, fashion and courting of that era and relate it to my 21st century experiences.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies aided me in understanding the Regency era in the same manner.  

Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter  taught me the politics involved in being the reigning monarch in England while a demon horde ravages the lands and vies for the throne.  There was  some interesting xenophobia and bawdy jokes about Germans.  There is historical reference to the reform movement and real events in the life of Queen Victoria.  Cool.

As I read the novel, I found that it paced like a SyFy movie just developed a little more.

The book jacket  promises a story about a newly crowned queen who receives an arsenal of demon hunting weapons in addition to her crown and scepter.  Not exactly true. It is a conspiracy thriller.  There you go. 

The book actually follows the Queen as circumstances lead her to become a demon hunting monarch and mother of two.  A sequel to this books would undoubtedly chronicle her blood and gory exploits during her reign but this novel did not.  This is not to write that there were monitored descriptions of death, flesh eating, bloody katanas, and other atrocities.  The author has a fine style to describe gruesome scenes with vivid imagery, ingenious quips, and evil villains all with a dash of romance. 

For example: 

'Sir, it's the zombies, sir,' Perkins managed, breathing heavily.

There was a crack of lightning from outside, a rumble of thunder.

'Yes?' said Quimby, still irritated. 'What about the zombies?'

'Sir, they're eating the prostitutes.' 

That paragraph introduces a hilarious scene of flesh eating debauchery. 

The characters to note are Phillip, Victoria, Maggie, Melbourne, and Quimby.  Quimby provides the comedy in the story.  Maggie moves the action along.  The evolving relationships between Melbourn and Victoria and Phillip and Victoria provide both conflict and intrigue.  The evolution of Victoria's character from third in line to the throne to a demon hunter is really slow.  

The first half of the book bored me except for the chapters dedicated to the antics of Quimby and his faithful zombie servant Perkins.   Even so, the book could have added another 100 pages or so to the second half and I would have been perfectly pleased.  The second half contained quite a bit of blood and gore.  Perfect scene staging for a Saturday night movie. 

You should read this book if you like action, plot twists, zombies, coach chases, hand to paw combat,   monster rats, demonology, visits to the lunatic asylum, and discussing the role of state sanctioned torture for political prisoners.  

C+ with  potential in a sequel

Another reviewer recognized some similarities between the characters and action of the book to the Aliens movies.

Horns by Joe Hill - Horny Madness

Horns by Joe Hill
I did not stumble upon Joe Hill.  Amazon and WeReads recommended the author’s novel, Heart Shaped Box.  After about a year of the suggestion popping up in my profile, I finally downloaded the ebook.  I like the first chapter so much that I ordered the audiobook from my local library.
I enjoyed Heart Shaped Box immensely.  The story began innocently as a ghost story and ended as a complicated love story.  I could write that it was a story of revenge and love or a story about redemption and love.  I will not.  It was a creepy story that, had it ended any other way, would have left me scarred for life. 
So, of course, I sought out his most recent novel, Horns. You can find an excerpt here 

One hundred or so pages in, I was so creeped out that I decided to take a break and Google the author. 
Joe Hill is no ordinary creepy author. Hill’s famous father, Stephen King, has been creeping us out for years.  Since I have read no King books, I really did not know what to expect.  I could not use King’s novel based movies as a standard. Why would I?

Armed with the information, I went back to reading my book.

Okay, it has a creepy factor of 9.7 out of ten.  Totally creepy.

The events of the story take place over a week or so but the author filled about 30 or more tracks with flashbacks.



Back to the summary.  There is the whiny guy named Ig Perrish who has lived a righteous life.  His rich family have respectable positions in the community.  His girlfriend’s murder continues to haunt him as the anniversary of her death approaches. Despite having lived a virtuous and respectable  life in the small town of Gideon, everyone thinks he is a rapist/murderer. 
The grieving man visits the site of her death to be near her.  Not to repent anything just get shitfaced and cry.  A few hours later, Ig wakes up from a drunken stupor with a set of horns erupting through skull.  He follows a logical path.

First, he reviews what he can remember; Got drunk, Pissed on a statue of the Virgin Mary, Did not go home…..
Next, he determines that he is not hallucinating. He heads to the apartment that he shares with the local bad girl, Glenna.  Yes, she and other people see the horns. No hallucination, but his problems have just begun.  People start to tell him their deepest, darkest, and disturbing secrets.  He cannot stop them.  He tries but his horns affect a cleansing therapy that everyone wants to experience when they are near the horns.

"You think you know someone. But mostly you just know what you want to know."
— Joe Hill (Horns)
 
Then we follow Ig as he seeks out people whom he feels have no dark secrets, he knows all their secrets, or whose secrets would be banal. He visits places all over his little town just to learn that he knew absolutely nothing about the true desires of his family and friends.  It was sad, really.  I kept thinking to myself, he should just stop.  Like bad plastic surgery.

All of his actions seem reasonable.  He even began giving the poor souls advice concerning their deep secrets.  Fist pump.....That is a way to make a bad situation better.

After a  day of this, he slips into a depression and seeks a place to be alone with the horrible confessions and memories of people he loved and respected. That place turns out to be near the murder site.  He is not alone.  He is visited by hundreds of snakes.  Then the pontificating about God, evil, forgiveness, death, and love begins.  His thoughts move the story along with the exhausting flashbacks.

The novel kept me interested although to quote the words of another reviewer: “it meandered a bit.”
At one point, I began to suspect that the author and the editor were lovers.  Hill indulged himself with metaphors and extended flashbacks so much that I said at least once to myself, “enough already.”   I fast forwarded whole minutes of audiobook narration. I laughed after the 50th metaphor or so.  I just wanted some plain writing by the end of the book.   Hill and a thesaurus are a dangerous liaison.

The narrator did not have a lot of distinctive voices for the various characters.  I followed the story by figuring out who was talking.  Despite this, Fred Berman, did an excellent job with his characterization of the Glenna.  He took a minor character and fleshed her out for me.  I began to listen for her appearances in the novel.  I do not know if I would have connected so well with the character if I had read the book. 

Finally, this is not a whodunit novel.  It is not a story about a man turning into a demon.  Not a love story with snakes. Not a tale of unholy revenge in a small town.  It is just good story telling with dashes of spirituality, love, and betrayal.  Or maybe it just a monster tale.  You decide.
My score A- with a dash of creepy.

"The best way to get even with anyone is to put them in the rear view mirror on your way to something better."
— Joe Hill (Horns)