Gilded Latten Bones - Witicisms from TunFaire

I have to admit it. I have discovered Steam Punk fiction. Unfortunately the genre often contains chamber pots. I still prefer urban fantasy for its cars and indoor plumbing but these books do rock. Detectives and the mysteries that follow them, I seem to love where ever they are.


I have two steam punk series that I devour whenever new books hit my library. I adore the Parasol Protectorate by Gail Carriger.; I own a few of her books. I follow Garrett PI when Glen Cook records his cases.

Today I will write about Garrett. Garrett is a private investigator, former marine living in the fantasy world of TunFaire along with elves, trolls, dwarves, minor gods, and vampires.
From the book jacket

For Garrett, P.I., loyalty and love come a close second to survival...

Garrett's attempt at domestic bliss with the fiery Tinnie Tate is sidetracked when he waylays a pair of home intruders and learns they've been paid by an unknown source to kidnap Tinnie. But as Garrett rushes to find out who is trying to push his buttons, his best friend is attacked. Now, Garrett has to track down both malefactors.

Unless they're really one and the same-in which case Garrett might be next...

Our retired hero is keeping house with his number one squeeze Tinnie Tate. He is getting a little pudgy around the middle and people have started ignore him. Garrett finds being ignored quite uncomfortable.  Despite this, our Garrett has created a boring existence far from the excitement found on Macunado Street until someone tries to kidnap Tinnie and murder his best pal Morely. Garrett returns to his detective and body-guarding past to solve the mystery. During the intriguing yet meandering story, Garrett makes new friends, finds old enemies and catches both a cold and the heart of a fearsome sorceress. Nice job!

I like Garret and Glen Cook. His characters have plain speak. No flowers, no silly analogies. Garrett is just a man who likes his beer and chamber pot nearby. His partner, the Dead Man, is a genius spirit who doesn't have to deal with the awkwardness of personal relationships.
Garrett doesn't have to pound the pavement in this story. Most of the action seems to either gravitate toward him or is reported to him. It gives a new meaning to being cooped up. Good thing Garrett has the sorceress, the stable manager, the restaurateur, the tracker, the beer deliveries, and night time flying to keep him busy.

When reading Gilded Latten Bones the reader is privy to the witticisms of our first-person protagonist. I have gathered a few for you.

Garret On Paranoia

I say that when you stop believing in weird conspiracies that involve scores of people who never break faith, you're fully ripe for the weird to come get you.

Garrett on MILFs with hot daughters

When I knew her Kevans had been pretending to be a boy. If she took after her mom she could make that leather smolder. Taking a wild shot a making Strafa feel better because her kid was weirdly built was one of those special moments that make me uniquely me.

Garrett On the opposite sex

A desirable woman who catches a man in bed in the middle of the night won't need to work hard to have her way.

Garrett On being underestimated

Someday I'll make a huge score because nobody will take me at face value. I could loot the Royal Mint, then run around yelling about how it was me that done it.

Garrett on the public's fascination with celebrities

And there was another reason Jon Salvation felt free to unleash his inner dick. People put up with it because he might cast them in a play.

As you can see Garrett's character has many, many fine points. This book is good for the first time reader and fans of the series. I encourage you to read it since it is packed with interesting characters and plot points for future exploration.

My score B+

Boneshaker: Was this a teen book?

Last Sunday, I read Boneshaker by Cherie Priest all in one day.  Impressive right?  It's not a short book either.  416 pages. And it was full of all sorts of fun stuff.  A steampunk vision of a Civil-War era Seattle.  Zeppelins.  Crazy machines.  A gas seeping from underground that makes people into zombies... I mean what more could you possibly want.

But the fact that I read the book in one day makes me suspicious.  Did I just unwittingly read a teen novel?  Was I fooled by DPL's faulty book organization into reading a book written for high school students?  Or did this fun, if a little awkward, book meet its intended audience in my charming readership? 

Well, I suppose there must be a way to determine this.  First off, it was published by the SyFy conglomerate.  So, someone at SyFy thought this was an appropriate story to attract their viewership to the written word. People who watch SyFy are not necessarily a certain age, they just have a certain group of interests.  Fair enough, so this is inconclusive.

I guess we want to believe that teen novels should be a little tamer than adult novels... which is not necessarily true.  I can bet you that the first sex scene I read was from a "teen novel." I am also pretty sure that there was nothing in this novel that wouldn't be found in an adult novel or a teen novel. There was violent death, there were creepy characters, there were dysfunctional families, and there was evil.  The protagonist was a single mother who had to venture into the walled off city of Seattle which was ensconced in a poinsonous gas they called "the Blight."  The Blight had been unleashed by her deceased husband by his crazy invention, the Boneshaker.  If you breath too much, you die and then sometimes reanimate.  They called the zombies "rotters".  So the mother goes to rescue the son.  The basic structure of the story is "family friendly"; it could easily be made into a Disney film. There is nothing so harsh and cold and evil about the story that I could not end up in the teen book department.  Also, no sex.  Because there is NOTHING romantic about have to wear a mask at all times to keep the Blight out and there is nothing romantic about have to be quiet so the rotters don't catch wind of you.  Nobody was getting it on.  Too dangerous, not enough clean air.

If it is considered an regular novel for adults, it's awful tame. I kind of think that it might have done better on the teen market regardless.  The only other reason I think it might be a teen novel is because I was able to read it in one day.  It was fast; the words were pretty large (they were also printed in dark brown ink instead of black, which I think is cool and show-offish at the same time.)  So, I'm pretty much decided that this is a teen novel.  It's like a coming of age story for the son, and while he's not the "main" character, he does go through finding out that his father was not blameless when it came to the Blight accident.

Sad day.

My last question is about the picture on the front.  Do you think that's the boy, young boys look like girl sometimes?  Or the mother, who really shouldn't be that young looking? I can't figure it out.  I start to lean towards the mother, but then I'm like it could be the son.  Oh bother.

As for whether I liked the book, well I did, but the writing could have been smoother.  I felt like I was reading the awkward examples in writing textbooks on how to create believable dialogue.  It got better as the book went on.  But you can tell this is her first "real" novel.  The cover says "break-out novel".  I think she should write a sequel, in which the son figures out how to either stop the gas and restore Seattle or tame the rotters and take over Vancouver.  Bother are good choices as far as I'm concerned.  If you are tired of your paranormal romance, try this steampunk romp on for size, but don't expect to find it challenging.  Just sayin'.