"Lola Carlyle Reveals All" by Rachel Gibson

At first glance, I'm not too terribly impressed with the characters in this book. Lola is a retired underwear model and Max is a covert ops agent. Max has "commandeered" a yacht in the Bahamas- a yacht which Lola happens to have fallen asleep on. (It isn't her yacht, but friends of hers.) Max has run afoul of a drug lord (by killing his son), and Lola is hiding from the public after her ex-boyfriend started a website with embarrassing nudie photos of her.

GPS is consistently referred to as Global Positioning System. It's very distracting. Pushing that aside, Lola is recovering from bulemia. This is mentioned a lot. Max is a hard-hearted soldierman, so basically a cardboard cut-out. Lola fires off a flare-gun which melts the control board of the yacht and leaves them stranded in the Bermuda triangle.

Lola compares Max to Ted Bundy; charming but dangerous. Lolz. Max thinks about his entry into the super sekret skwerril spy business, which is supposed to show how tough and capable he is. Then Lola thinks about her current career as a lingere designer, which is supposed to show how tough and capable she is. My reaction: eh. Lola takes care of herself, but doesn't spare a thought for the little yappy dog she carries around. Max shows the dog more attention than she does. Lola's more concerned that Max won't catch on that she's not wearing underwear. In fact, a lot more of the text is devoted to her lacy pink underthings than the damned dog.

Lola's dog falls in the ocean, she jumps in after it, and Max has to jump in to save them both. Then we get into the first kiss. Max kisses Lola after rescuing her....to stop her from hyperventilating. Um, whut? At this point, I'm irritated enough with Lola's behavior that I'd rather she pass out.

Through the course of the entire book, Lola wins at nothing but being sexy. Which is... not sexy. And frankly, I don't know how she managed to start her own business. She seems to be completely useless in a crisis and unable to think rationally about, well, anything.

There is a storm, and they land on an island which thankfully has fresh water. Lola's first act when they find the water spring is to...
...
...
...
Reapply her makeup.

Whut.

And pluck her brows.

Whut.

Why did she bring this crap with her from the yacht?! And side note, I don't think standard makeup cases are waterproof.

Then the sex scene. Ugh. It goes something like this:
Lola: Let's have sex! There are condoms on the yacht!
Max: Forget the condoms, I'm clean!
Lola: OKAY!

But before they have the sexytimes, mysterious ne'er-do-wells show up. They hide, but Baby (Lola's dog) runs up to them and starts yapping. While Max (the idiot) is planning on how to rescue the dog, Lola convinces him to sex her up. It's rather hilarious and also somewhat sad that the word penis is used several times, but Lola's genitalia are not mentioned at all.

If you're still interested in reading the book, that's on you. All-in-all, I found it rather disappointing. Which is a shame, because I really enjoyed one of the author's other books (The Trouble with Valentine's Day). If you're into suspense, it's not very suspenseful. If you're into strong heroines, Lola falls short. If you're into complex characters, find another book.